Never Take a Goat

if you’re thinking just like me
that you’d like to go to sea
I’ve some words of good advice for you to note
your floating will be better
and you end up far less wetter
if you’ll only take along a little boat

now boats are fancy things
says the dry man as he sings
for keeping all the ocean from your socks
and even if they match
you can bet they’re not a patch
on a boat for when you leave behind the docks

chorus
take a boat
that’ll float
and you can quote me when I say
a boat is better any day
for when you’d like to go to sea
and you’re thinking just like me
you’ll need a boat
to stay afloat

if you’re thinking just like me
that you’d like to go to see
there’s another bit of wisdom you should note
your health will be robust
and your joints will never rust
if you’ll only take along a little coat

a coat’s a wondrous thing
says the warm man as he sings
for keeping all the chilly from your throat
if it buttons or it zips
it’ll keep the frosty nips
from your throat while you’re out sailing on your boat

chorus
take a boat
that’ll float
and you can quote me when I say
a boat is better any day
for when you’d like to go to sea
and you’re thinking just like me
you’ll need a boat
to stay afloat

(spoken)
now, we’ve talked about boats
and we’ve talked about coats
and there’s only one thing left to talk about
goats

if you’re thinking just like me
that you’d like to go to sea
I’ve some final words of wisdom you should note
as you’re loading up your boat
in your warm and fuzzy coat
don’t ever ever ever bring a goat

goats, the hungry things
will eat your sofa to the springs
and if there’s eating to be done, well here’s my vote
put the goat into a pot
and we’ll serve him up right hot
and prevent the creature buttin’ up our boat

chorus
take a boat
that’ll float
and you can quote me when I say
a boat is better any day
for when you’d like to go to sea
and you’re thinking just like me
you’ll need a boat
to stay afloat

so take a boat
and get yer coat
and eat the goat
and stay afloat
your floating will be better
and you end up far less wetter
if you’ll only take along a little boat

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